even if i put this entry into the public, no one would care a little to read it. there is only one person who cares for me truly and he is being taken away from me, from my life.

they have every reason for us to be apart but no matter how strong all the forces combined, our love will last. painful it seem but its harder than i thought.

i wish someone would care enough to be my friend. i have wasted all those time they stood by me when all i really sob about was that freak who took my thing out of me. but in these times i really need them, they arent around.

most of the time, i break down and i pity him for catching all my sickness. the one i truly love and give me all my strength has been suffering enough from me and i hate myself for that.

every bit of hapiness has something very bad in return. and i believed that long enough not to be surprised why this is happening to me.

i will everything into place as long as i can.

24.





mwahugz.









=P

right now im here at the airport. im going to the states. to sanfo. im here at the cathay pacific business class lounge. but my sis and i were booked for full economy. hahaha. howd we do that? secret. haahhahhaa. ill miss my jeric. ill miss him so much. thats why im sad overis extravagant vacation. oh well. i know its very much fair. =|

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ü
i never thought i'll feel these feelings again. blah. to much to feel. so little to blab. boink boink boink. Ü hehehehehehehe .. napaka walang kwenta nitong entry nato. ang labo. wahhahhhahahhaha .. sige na nga babay na .. i cant find ways to feel emo this time. wahhahahhahahhahha .. to the one who caused this. thanks for coming into my life. =)

its so weird when we get this feeling of bearing the world on our shoulder when it looks like light enough to handle by other people.
every night unfolds with deep dark secrets playing in our hearts. and sometimes it just cant seem to get enough. i keep myself from every single hardness this might take me. when i come home and sit its not far from burying my fingers down to my heart and rip it off to take it from the inside. i'd like to do that one day. we live ourlives in different ways and with different fate; how can it be so drastic as my life fill in. i went far enough to be authorize to say this even though im just seventeen. i know i'll go further only if i wont commit suicide too soon.what i fear is what i desire. thats fucking my head up. and myself too. my beloved friend sworn to be good turned out to be the demon of them all. it crushed my heart. so crushed i came up with these words and starting to feel reality.
im not searching for reasons. by instinct i just know. i just know everything.
whats the point in trying? nothings changing anyway. at the end of the day we all ask, would we rather be right? or would we rather be happy?
im sober and reality bites.